


The Path to Madness

by elrhiarhodan



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Background Barry/Iris, Emotional Infidelity, Eobarry, Grief, Longing, Lust, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation, Porn, Slash, barrison, don't be afraid to touch your meat, mmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:30:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/pseuds/elrhiarhodan
Summary: Barry's left to his own devices for an evening, and find something unexpected - and perhaps unwanted.





	The Path to Madness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 8 of the 2017 Edition of Merry Month of Masturbation, for the prompt "Path". Today's entry was written all for myself. A bit of mental wank, perhaps?

Barry's relationship with HR is weird. 

It's not complex like the one he'd had – still has – with Harry, filled with longing and denial and admiration. Nor is it like the one he'd had with the original Wells – Eobard – which was all about secrets and lies and lust and devotion and hatred. And although he knows all too well that Harrison Wells had been body-snatched by Thawne, the month he'd spent in the other reality, with the younger, angrier, barely controlled Eobard Thawne makes it hard to think of Thawne masquerading as Doctor Wells as anyone but "Harrison".

Barry doesn't quite know what to make of HR. He's silly, but yet serious. He plays the idiot but he's as smart as any member of the team, or smarter, perhaps. He's the most graceful bumbler Barry's ever met. It's taken a while, but Barry actually likes HR, he thinks of him as a valued member of Team Flash, and he's kind of glad that HR doesn't have a ticket back to Earth-19.

At least until tonight. Cisco's gone home, Caitlin has, too – or maybe she having dinner and drinks with Julian. Iris has a deadline for an article, and Joe and Wally are enjoying some father-son bonding time. Barry's left to his own devices.

He never minds these nights. While Barry is always happiest when he has his family around him, on occasion, he needs a little down time. A little time when he's not moving at super speed; not consumed with the problems of either the future or the past. 

He finds solace in S.T.A.R. Labs, it's as much his home as his beautiful new apartment, maybe more so. His life starts and ends here, now. Everything that has and will happen is because of S.T.A.R. Labs, something that's taken him a long time to reconcile. There's always something to do - something that needs his attention. He's comfortable here

But now, everything – all that hard won peace of mind – has been destroyed, all because he'd gone wandering around S.T.A.R. Labs and found HR Wells running on the treadmill. The Cisco'd one. 

The one that he'd used in his earliest days as a speedster. The one that's haunted him for the best part of two years. 

Barry doesn't have to concentrate, the ghost is easily summoned. He can still hear Wells encouraging him, worrying about him, obsessing over his every achievement. Maybe this is where Barry had fallen in love with Harrison Wells, doing the impossible under the bright, appreciative eyes of a man he'd respected above all others.

This is why Barry usually avoids the treadmill room, because it's hard to remember all of the terrible things that Eobard Thawne had done to him when all he can hear is "run, Barry, run" echoing in the silence.

And yet, tonight, Barry finds himself there. Maybe memories of Wells encouraging him will give him something that's been missing for so long – direction, purpose. He hates to think of himself as needy, but he is. 

Barry needs someone to believe in him. Yeah, of course the team does – but they aren't what Barry needs. He needs someone better, smarter, stronger, to put their faith in him. Harry had done that – but Harry had left when Barry had needed him the most. And he comes back only to leave again, leaving Barry emotionally at sea.

Well, not just emotionally.

It would have been too easy to cross the line with Harry, to use Harry to fill the aching hole in his heart. He'd imagined doing just that for too many nights in the dubious privacy of his bedroom at Joe's. Except that most every time, Harry becomes Harrison who is really Eobard, who fucks him into oblivion.

And now, instead of being able to think of HR as a goofy, smart, reliable _friend_ , HR is going to star in endless sexual fantasies, all because Barry wanders into the treadmill room after hours looking to commune with his ghost.

HR's running on the treadmill - at normal human speeds; he's stripped down – wearing just S.T.A.R. Labs athletic gear – probably Harry's discards, and Barry can't quite believe what he's seeing. Arms like cannons, a broad, strong chest, legs with – ironically – much better musculature and definition than Barry's own. 

Watching HR, Barry doesn't know why he had never thought of this version of Wells in the same way as Harry or Harrison. Why he'd persistently neutered HR (who made no secret of his own sexual nature). But now he's faced with the reality that just as Harry and Harrison-Eobard are and had been everything he'd ever lusted over in his secret, terrible dreams, so is HR. 

He's sweat-soaked, the thin cotton clinging like a lover, and his form is perfect, a steady and focused pace that speaks of strength and endurance, and suddenly, Barry's consumed with the idea of HR fucking him, working at him for hours, intent only on giving Barry pleasure.

No, not pleasure, encouragement. Praise. Telling Barry that he can do anything. That nothing's impossible. With his cock deep in Barry's ass and his hands tormenting Barry's own cock and nipples. Fucking him and praising him and making everything that's gone wrong, right again.

The man on the treadmill merges with Barry's memories of Harrison Wells and Barry aches with loneliness. With desire.

But Barry doesn't stay and watch; seeing his fantasy unravel back into reality will be just too heartbreaking. Barry backs away and the sound of the treadmill and Wells' feet hitting the rubber in a slow, steady pace, echoes in his brain like the rhythm of two bodies smacking together, fucking and being fucked.

Thinking about HR or Harry or Harrison or Eobard like this, when Iris is home and waiting for him, is the path to madness, to self-destruction. But Barry can't help himself. He knows that when he gets home, he's going to lock himself in the bathroom and under the hot shower, do everything he can to forget what he's just seen, to exorcize the ghost that whispers to him, _"You can do this, Barry. I believe in you."_

Barry knows he'll fail and he'll always be haunted by his ghost's laughter. 

__

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me at my tumblr [Obscene Circus Ponies](http://elrhiarhodan.tumblr.com/), and on my old school (and much beloved) [Dreamwidth](https://elrhiarhodan.dreamwidth.org/) account.


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